Napisałam historię kryminalną po angielsku. Teraz mam pytanie czy dobrze to napisałam. Chodzi mi o błędy ortograficzne. I co trzeba zmienić ?


" IT ISN'T LOVE "


Hello. My name is Amy Jones. I am a detective. I work in the criminal department in Toronto. As the detective work has already nine years.
About 6.17 this morning called me James.
- Come to the forest at the end of the city.
- OK.

When I arrived I got murdered Julia Gloom files. Right away after reading.
- Amy !
- What happened ?
- We are the first witness. Her name is Rachel Sugar. Waiting for the police station.
- OK. I'm going.

25 minutes later I was in the building. I took Rachel to be heard.
- You know who could kill Julia Gloom?
- Julia is my friend. Yesterday we went to the disco 19 near the forest. There the boys met. We went to the forest.
- How are they called?
- Ron and Tom, but I don't know their names.
- And what you went by car ?
- Black car.
- And what happened next ?
- Ron drove me home. And Julia was with Tom. She lived opposite the forest. And Tom had to call Ron to come after him. They are brothers.
- And maybe some guy was jealous of Julia so much that he could kill her?
- Maybe ... Beside her boy lives. Is impaired. That Julia complained looking at it through binoculars.
- Thanks. You can go now.
- Goodbye

I called for James.
- You have to interview the two boy. The police was their bond.
- OK. And you?
- I'm going to the family of the murdered.

25 minutes later I was talking with his parents murdered. Also complained about the boy next door, so after a while I went to their neighbors.
- Good morning. I'm with the police. Can I talk to your son ?
- And what ?
- Your neighbors have complained spied that their son and daughter.
- What ? Nothing about this don't know.
- Can I talk to you son ?
- Yes. Of course.

We went to the room boy. He wasn't there. His mother ran to the attic. Something moved in the corner of the room. Michael sat huddled in a white T-shirt torn. When I walked closer I noticed that the T-shirt was bloody. And lying next to a bloody big stick. I called the police to have studied the blood.

The police also came the psychologist to interview the boy. I learned that in love with Julia.

On the evening had the results of DNA from blood on a shirt. This blood have Julia.

After 10 minutes came James.
- And what is it?
- Nothing I learned from those guys.

A psychologist told me that we wait for the night and we will take Michael to the crime scene. We need to play a scene from that day and wait for the boy's reaction.
On the spot it was all prepared. The boy came out of the car and he chose the direction of. I walked behind him. Police stood behind the trees waiting for a sign. The boy looked around for a while and told us what happened. He saw her with another guy. He was terribly jealous of her. Hid behind the tree. Suddenly Ron and took Tom. Julia had to go home alone. When the brothers went, he took Michael a big thick stick and jumped out from behind a tree. Julia was struck several times in the head. She fell, and boy began to tell ''Wake up!''. Girl didn't respond, so the boy ran home.

Michael for manslaughter received a suspended sentence and was ordered to treatment by a specialist.

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Odpowiedzi

2010-04-11T20:53:49+02:00
How are they call? tylko to mi się wydaje źle
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Najlepsza Odpowiedź!
2010-04-11T20:54:17+02:00
Według mnie ta praca jest dobrze napisana, lecz nie wiem jakie ma kryteria sprawdzające twój nauczyciel. Jedynie co mogłabyś poprawić to dokładniejsze dane bohaterów.
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